Rhett Butler Was Definitely NOT Passive

(be like Rhett!)

“Frankly, my dear, a damn is not given by me.” –Gone with the Wind

“An offer that he can’t refuse is going to be made by me.” –The Godfather

“The truth cannot be handled by you!” –A Few Good Men

“What she’s having will be had by me.” –When Harry Met Sally

Notice anything odd about these classic movie lines? Do they sound a little awkward?

Of course they do—because I rewrote the lines in passive voice, the bane of all editors and publishers.

At least half of the manuscripts I read are drowning in them. 

(In case you didn't notice, I used a passive verb in the previous sentence on purpose) 

Occasionally the passive voice is technically correct and preferred. (e.g., “Don’t be fooled,” instead of “Don’t let anyone fool you.”). But these are exceptions, not the rule. 

You should be writing in the active voice the vast majority of the time in order to make your writing the strongest it can be. 

That’s why in today’s PWR, we’re going to focus on how to turn your writing from passive to active so your writing JUMPS off the page.

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Here's the Difference

So what's the difference between active voice and passive voice?

With active voice, the subject completes the action in a sentence. Case in point:  “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

With passive voice, another agent, usually something that appears at the end of the sentence, acts upon the subject of the sentence. Case in point II: “Frankly, my dear, a damn is not given by me.”

Here's another way of looking at it...

Did you ever have a lazy uncle who didn't do a thing? Or maybe a lazy brother or sister-in-law?

They lay around the house doing nothing. 

That's what the passive verb does in your sentence. The active verb makes your writing JUMP off the page. Passive verbs just sit around watching TV, sipping Mai Tais, waiting for the subject to do something.

Good Writing Gets to The Point Quickly And Clearly

Writing is all about making an argument, and the best arguments are succinct and clear. Similarly, good writing is direct, and it doesn’t beat around the bush. 

The active voice strengthens your writing because it is simpler to understand. Passive voice, on the other hand, weakens your writing because it gives readers an extra hoop to jump through to understand your meaning.

Remember that your readers struggle with ADHD. They’re easily distracted and give up when they’re the least bit confused by your writing.

If you want to write well, you need to write in active voice. The awkward and unnecessary turns of passive voice make writing much more difficult to understand.

Three Simple Tricks For Your Sentence Fix

Here’s how you can spot and fix the passive voice in your writing:

1. Search and destroy the "to be" verbs whenever possible.

Since passive voice construction involves use of the verb “to be,” check your writing for every form of this verb (am, is, are, was, were, etc.). Remember, the “to be” verb is the weakest (read: boring-est) verb in the English language.

Whenever you find one, deconstruct your sentence to locate the subject, then try rewriting it with a different verb. Sometimes replacing the "to be" verb for a stronger verb is all you need will fix the problem.

This might seem like an exercise your high school English teacher made you do way back when, but trust me, it’s effective makes a HUGE difference. After you deconstruct and rewrite your sentence, compare it to the original sentence. I promise you the new sentence will be clearer, stronger, and easier to understand.

2. Check the end of your sentences for the word “by.”

Passive sentences often need a little help, in the form of the prepositional phrase, toward the end of the sentence. 

The word "by," followed by the subject, will give it away. For example, in “The truth cannot be handled by you!” you can see that "by you" is a prepositional phrase. 

They're so lazy!

Quick tip: This is who you will can identify the passive verb in your sentence. Move the subject back to the front of the sentence and you’ll be able to exterminate that pesky prepositional phrase at the end.

Believe it or not, less is more when it comes to word count in sentences. People appreciate simplicity. They like bite-sized ideas because they are easier to digest.

3. Investigate those awkward sentences.

If a sentence in your manuscript bothers you, highlight it. Break it apart and parse why it is difficult to understand. Odds are, passive voice may be your culprit.

When in doubt, go back to the basics. Sentences are commonly formed by a subject, verb, and direct object (in that order). 

If you’re rusty on your English, the direct object receives the action in the sentence. For example, in the sentence “I’ll have what she’s having,” the subject is “I”, the verb is “will have” and the direct object, which receives the action, is “what she’s having”.

 If you want a visual, write out all the words of your sentence on index cards and rearrange them, removing the words you don’t need. I encourage you to find a way to say your point in the least number of words.

Let's Put Those Verbs To Work

Don't let today's post overwhelm you. Hunting down passive verbs is like a muscle that you exercise. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

Why is active writing gripping? Because it speaks directly to the reader. No fluff, no runarounds. It’s honest, brave, and powerful. 

And you are capable of writing like that.

So put those verbs to work! Make an active choice to direct the reader toward something. All books should form a path leading the reader to a final destination, with every sentence propelling them to take the next step on the intellectual journey. Make that journey easy.

Still struggling to find and fix passive voice in your writing? Illumify can help. 

Schedule a meeting with me today, by clicking here, and let's strategize a personalized plan to make your writing stronger.

Let’s bring your book to life!